Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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