I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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