I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
