and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
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I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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