Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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