Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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