Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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