you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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