? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
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I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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