Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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