Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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