talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
