i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
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Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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