My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize