He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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