Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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