.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings