Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I want to fling myself into the sun
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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