Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
