For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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