I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize