nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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