i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
