im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
