you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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