Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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