Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize