my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize