Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I want to make a zoo with you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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