i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize