Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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