you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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