Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
