I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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