so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
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She even gives head with a lisp.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
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Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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