I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize