help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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