So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.