This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
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buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.