TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please