I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize