did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
