yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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