So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
