i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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