Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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