It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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