I swear god or herbie drove my car home
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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