she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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