Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize