Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.