we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...