If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's blow job season.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
